I like to prepare for things and know ahead of time when things are going to change. Simply put, I don’t do well with surprises. Babies are changing all the time, but knowing that a lot of change will occur is helpful to know. At least you are aware of it. There are a lot of things that you learn along the way, but there are some big topics that I wish I was aware of before I had my baby. I hope that you will find these things helpful as you prepare for your baby!
I wish I knew to just go with the flow.
I am a very type A personality! I read up on the Baby Wise method and thought I knew what to expect with feeding and schedules. Wrong! Ewan is a stout little guy and he liked to eat! Some babies do well on schedules, some don’t. Some parents can put their baby on a schedule and some can’t. I couldn’t, for the life of me, get Ewan to take a full feeding during the day. Then, he went to daycare and he was on a routine in no time (I don’t say schedule because his naps differ in length a lot.) Whether they are on a schedule or not, it’s OK! It’s OK if they have a million toys and they only like one. There is a lot of trial and error with babies. It’s OK if you make a bottle and they don’t drink it or if you bought a bassinet and they refuse (Ewan!) to sleep in it. It’s OK if you nurse your baby to sleep or do the feed/play/nap routine. It will be alright!
I wish I knew what the 4th Trimester was.
The 4th trimester is the first 3 months of your baby’s life where they are adjusting to life outside of the womb. One blog I read said to think of them as a fetus outside of the womb. Think of all the things that are different outside of your womb compared to inside. That’s a big difference! I didn’t realize that I couldn’t just put Ewan down anytime I wanted and go about my regular business. That he would only sleep on my chest, or that he would be so fussy at times. I think knowing about the 4th trimester would have mentally prepared me for those first three months of Ewan’s life.
“To give your little one “fourth trimester” care, you’ll want to give her plenty of snug wrapping/swaddling, shushing, swaying motion, holding in the side/stomach position and opportunities to suck.”
I wish I knew I could go to a therapist/counselor while I was pregnant to prepare for the big life change of having a baby.
If my husband and I were to have another baby I would definitely be seeing my therapist on a regular basis throughout my pregnancy. Not only would that help with anxieties and fears during my pregnancy, but it would allow me to come up with a plan for after the baby is born. Therapy has been one of the best investments in my life and my marriage, right behind receiving Jesus Christ as my Savior.
I wish I knew the symptoms of baby blues and postpartum depression.
I wish I had been informed about the symptoms of baby blues and PPD. I had (and sometimes still do have) anger that I have had to work through. PPD is very treatable and I am living proof! According to the Mayo Clinic, the following are the signs and symptoms for baby blues and postpartum depression.
Baby Blues:
Signs and symptoms of baby blues — which last only a few days to a week or two after your baby is born — may include:
- Mood swings
- Anxiety
- Sadness
- Irritability
- Feeling overwhelmed
- Crying
- Reduced concentration
- Appetite problems
- Trouble sleeping
Postpartum Depression:
Postpartum depression may be mistaken for baby blues at first — but the signs and symptoms are more intense and last longer, eventually interfering with your ability to care for your baby and handle other daily tasks. Symptoms usually develop within the first few weeks after giving birth, but may begin later — up to six months after birth.
Postpartum depression symptoms may include:
- Depressed mood or severe mood swings
- Excessive crying
- Difficulty bonding with your baby
- Withdrawing from family and friends
- Loss of appetite or eating much more than usual
- Inability to sleep (insomnia) or sleeping too much
- Overwhelming fatigue or loss of energy
- Reduced interest and pleasure in activities you used to enjoy
- Intense irritability and anger
- Fear that you’re not a good mother
- Feelings of worthlessness, shame, guilt or inadequacy
- Diminished ability to think clearly, concentrate or make decisions
- Severe anxiety and panic attacks
- Thoughts of harming yourself or your baby
- Recurrent thoughts of death or suicide
I wish I knew about tongue ties and lip ties.
Tongue ties are when the frenulum, a piece of tissue that connects the tongue to the bottom of the mouth, is too short or tight and limits the movement of the tongue. A lip tie is when the frenulum, a piece of tissue that connects the lip to the gums, is too tight and limits the movement of the upper lip. Ewan had such a hard time latching while I was trying to breastfeed and took FOREVER to take his bottle when we switched to formula. The culprit, an upper lip tie. Once that was taken care of, Ewan was able to take his bottle without any problem.
What did you wish you knew before having your baby? I would love to hear them!
My Beloved 