Every Mom has hard times, with or without PPD or other maternal mental health disorders. Even though the worst is behind me, I still have hard days and, on occasion, PPD can creep back in. The trigger for me is when I’m tired, Ewan is fussy, and I can’t figure out what is wrong. Ewan is getting to the point that he is too heavy for me to carry around for comfort. It gets frustrating! These are some things that have worked for me to get through those hard days. I hope you can pick up some tips for your own hard days!
I have friends I can call or text anytime and they will answer.
I have those close friends that no matter what we are doing we always answer the phone (or at least text back) when we call each other. I have answered my friend, Elisabeth’s calls in the middle of after school sectionals and she has answered my phone calls early on Sunday mornings. During the roughest of the roughest days when Ewan was born I must have texted my friend, Krista, hundreds of times a day and she always answered. I could text her in the middle of the night and she would answer back when she got up with her baby for a nighttime feeding. These relationships have played a crucial role in my recovery.
I have some sort of routine and/or a plan of what I want to do for the day.
Pre-baby, I could stay at home and lounge around all day. Now, that can really stress me out. During the summer, our routine has gone something like this:
6:45-7:00 Wake up with Ewan. After giving Ewan a bottle he sits in his high chair and plays while I eat breakfast and play around on the computer.
9:00ish Ewan takes a nap.
The rest of the day is bottle, play, nap x 3 and then bottle and bed at 7:00 pm.
I don’t worry about specific times, but I know what order things go in. The only consistent naptime Ewan has with me is around 9:00, the others I just go with the flow! When I go to the store I usually plan it right after I give Ewan a bottle. Sometimes he naps on the go and sometimes not. He will either drop the nap and just take another bottle or be fussy. (That’s when I call it day and go home.)
There are people close (and far) that I can call to come help out.
There were times after Ewan was born and my husband went back to work that I called him to come home because I was struggling. I know I can call my neighbor across the street or my mother-in-law and they will be right over if I need it. Don’t stay by yourself if you are on the brink of an emotional breakdown. Call somebody to come take care of your child so you can take a breather or a nap.
I will take Ewan for a drive!
Just the other day my husband was out and it was just Ewan and myself at home. Ewan was fussy and there wasn’t anywhere I could put him that he wouldn’t cry. I strapped him in his car seat and we drove around for 2 hours! We went to a Chick-fil-A drive thru and got a half sweet/half unsweet tea (my favorite!!). We sat in a parking lot while Ewan slept in the back and I played on my phone. Then, we went to Walmart and walked around the entire store. When we got home it was Ewan’s bedtime! Sometimes Ewan just needs a change of scenery for a while.
I am honest when somebody asks how I am doing.
It’s hard, I know, but it is so important to be honest when somebody asks how you are doing. What you are feeling is real. It’s not something you make up in your mind. People don’t know how to help if you don’t tell them what is really going on. The stigma about mental health is debilitating people to get help. In order to remove the stigma, more people need to be honest and speak up about their stories. You are not alone. Up to 20% of women have a maternal mental health disorder. It will get better, but you have to ask for help.
I can call my therapist for a phone session or set up another appointment.
There have been times where I think, “I’ve got this!” Then, something happens like Ewan’s schedule changes, and I’m thrown for a loop. I don’t hesitate to e-mail my therapist at The Center for Postpartum Family Health. Most recently, I read an article about PPD recovery that scared me. So, I sent a quick e-mail to my therapist and she responded quickly to put me at ease. Only 15% of women who suffer from a maternal mental health disorder receive help. It breaks my heart to know there are Moms out there that feel as bad as I did and are suffering in silence. If you are struggling, please reach out for help so you can begin your healing process. It will get better and you will feel like yourself again!
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255
Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741
Postpartum Support International: 1-800-944-4773
My Beloved 