I think it is very important that parents are honest about their victories and struggles.  Social media has romanticized what it is like after having a baby.  I believe that is why moms that are struggling with a postpartum mental health disorders don’t seek help.  They think there is something wrong with them.  Why do all these other moms have it together and I don’t?  I pray that sharing what I have overcome and what I have been struggling with gives others a sense of hope and the feeling that they are not alone.

Struggles

Going Back to Work After Summer

When I went back to work after maternity leave, it was really easy.  I was so ready to go back to work so I could get a break!  I could finally eat with two hands, go to the bathroom whenever I wanted, and have intelligent conversations with adults (and sometimes with students).  When I went back to work after summer I was in a much better place mentally.  I could handle being at home with Ewan much better and was really comfortable taking him out.  I miss him terribly during the day, but I know that there is value in what I do and I can’t wait until Ewan can run around the band hall and get to know my students.

Saturday Mornings 

It is a hard reality check during marching season that I can’t sleep all day on the weekends to recover from working 11-13 hour days during the week and 16+ hour work days on game and contest days.  I would much rather be out and about so I don’t have to think about how tired I am.  My husband is very gracious and looks after Ewan so I can get some rest during the day, but it’s so hard when I hear them having fun together!

VICTORIES!

Working Out and Eating Right

Now, don’t get me wrong, I am far from perfect.  I finished the 8 week Beachbody PiYo program.  It took me 9 weeks, but never in my life have I ever worked out that consistently.  Exercise is what pushed me over that last hump in my recovery from postpartum depression.  I feel better now than I ever have! I am currently on week 2 of PiYo Strength.  I try and follow the nutrition plan as close as I can, but man, do I have a sweet tooth!  Beachbody recommends using the 80/20 split.  80% of the time eating right and 20% allowing for life.

Mental Health

I am still on medication and attend therapy sessions on an as needed basis.  However, I feel better mentally now that I have in many, many years.  I am excited to go to work, I am excited to be with my son and husband, and I look forward to things.  When I was in the trenches of depression I couldn’t see a way out and it felt completely hopeless that things would ever get better.  The more that I think about it, the more I realize that there must have had some depression and/or anxiety before getting pregnant.

Advocacy 

Starting this blog was a big step for me!  I try to upload every week, but when it starts to get stressful I back off.  I do stay active on my the My Beloved Facebook page and Instagram account.  I don’t shy away from talking about mental health with my students. Mental health is not something that is talked enough about in schools.  Educators have a big opportunity to help lift the stigma of mental health and identify those students that are experiencing mental health condition.

With hope and healing,

Brittany

You will not have to fight this battle.  Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you, Judah and Jerusalem.  Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.  Go out to face them tomorrow, and the Lord will be with you. 

2 Chronicles 20:17 (NIV)