Self care is important for moms and dads alike. When you take care of yourself, you can better take care of your children. I’m going to share some self care tips that I think are somewhat universal and that work for me. I have also included some tips that I have learned from my own therapy. Most of these are really basic, essential self-care items, but I also included some splurge self care things!
Healthy Snacks
Keep some easy, healthy snacks around that you can eat with one hand. Some of my favorites are cheese sticks, greek yogurt, baby carrots, grapes, nuts, sugar snap peas, and protein shakes (although actually making the shake may require more than one hand). One of the things I struggled with during my depression was eating. In the beginning my goal was just to get enough calories in my body everyday no matter what it was, then I learned (and I am still learning) what are easy healthy snacks to keep on hand.
Water
Water is essential for our bodies to function properly! I think you will be surprised at how much better you will feel when you are drinking enough water. Some of this may purely the mental effect of knowing that I am doing something good for my body. This is a great article in Medical News Today of all the health benefits of drinking water. The amount varies depending on whom you ask. My goal is 65 ounces a day (half my body weight in ounces).
Work-out
Medication and therapy were huge in my recovery, but working out is what made me feel happy, not just normal. Even now, I feel a difference when I miss more work outs than normal. I do most of my workouts at the end of the school day or after Ewan goes to bed and I still feel the effects the next day.
Shower/Bath
It’s hard to take a shower when you have kiddos, but I don’t think that gives anybody the excuse not to take one (except in extenuating circumstances). I’ve never been much of a bath person, but I have always loved a long, hot shower. When Ewan was a newborn I loved to take a long, hot shower while Beau watched Ewan, even if I had already showered for the day. It was a way to get some much needed alone time and reset if I was having a hard time was. It was also a safe place to cry without anybody hearing me. Tears release oxytocin and endorphins that can make us feel better after crying. I realize that we might not all have the chance to take a long shower, but I believe it’s important to figure out with your partner when a good time is they can look after the little ones so you can feel a little more normal.
Morning/Night Routine
Call me crazy, but I sleep better if I’ve washed my face, done my skin care, brushed my teeth, and taken a shower. It’s even better when I do it before I put Ewan down so I can go straight to bed after he does! While I was still on maternity leave and my husband was back at work I would do my night routine after Ewan went to bed because that was his longest stretch of sleep. It was my only opportunity to be by myself and take care of me. Mornings are a different story….I look like a chicken with it’s head cut off trying to get out the door on time (which rarely happens). You might be the kind of person that needs a morning routine to start your day. Whatever it is, take time to take care of you so you can sleep better and start your day off right.
Sleep
You are probably rolling your eyes at this one, but this the most important one next to alone time for prayer and study! Sleep is so important! I, for one, really don’t do well when I am truly sleep deprived. On the other hand, I used to think “sleep when the baby sleeps” was a joke when Ewan was a newborn. At some point I had to eat and shower and that usually happened during one of Ewan’s famously short naps. At any rate, consistent lack of sleep can have some pretty major effects.
Apparently, sleep deprivation sometimes results in biological results in depression even when there’s nothing to be depression about. For example, one study took healthy young childless volunteers and deprived them of deep sleep (found during delta-wave and dream stages) every night for a month. At the end of the month, they were evaluated. Every single one of them had become clinically and biologically depressed!
And Baby Makes Three by John and Julie Gottman
So if you baby is a terrible napper, is still waking up multiple times during the night, or you are run down from working and being a full time mom, ask somebody to come look after the kids so you can get some sleep. It’s too important not to!
Alone Time for Prayer and Study
This is the area that I need the most improvement in. In the morning I am in such a rush to get out the door and in the evening I am tired from the day and just want to crash. There was a discussion in my bible study class about praying enough. One person said you may not get time to really dwell in prayer all the time and that’s ok, even though that would be the goal. I try and do things on my own by trying to figure it out or ask everybody for advice too much instead of just going to God in prayer. It doesn’t have to be fancy. Many times my prayers say, “God, I give up! I don’t even know what to pray!” And it doesn’t have to take 30 minutes either. Try just 5 minutes. There is a wonderful book called Mastering Life Before It’s Too Late: 10 Biblical Strategies for a Lifetime of Purpose that suggest a 15 minute plan. 5 minutes to read your Bible, 5 minutes of prayer, and 5 minutes to plan out your day. The key in the last 5 minutes is to asking God for His tasks for us for the day so we can “be about His business.”
God can do more with fifteen minutes than we can accomplish in a lifetime. To Him, a day is like a thousand years and a thousand years like a day. When he plans our hours, He always leaves some time for Himself. When He’s in control of our schedules, we’ll be able to abide in Him, for He cannot neglect himself.
Mastering Life Before It’s Too Late: 10 Biblical Strategies for a Lifetime of Purpose by Robert J. Morgan
“Splurge” Self-Care
While these items aren’t necessary everyday self care things, I believe they do have benefits when done every once in a while. These things can be a manicure/pedicure, girls night out, date night, asking your husband to look after the kids so you can take your time getting ready, or going to a coffee shop by yourself. It is important to invest in yourself, but be careful you aren’t doing these things too much to avoid responsibilities.
I have learned from being a teacher that my students pick up on things they see me do a lot. I start saying things my co-workers say around the band hall. As Ewan grows older I hope that he will see me doing proper self-care and learn from it! I will leave you with this podcast from Risen Motherhood that dives into the gospel side of getting through those tired seasons and The Well Mom Checklist and The Working Mom Checklist from The Center for Postpartum Family Health.
With hope and healing,
Brittany
You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you, Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the Lord will be with you.
2 Chronicles 20:17 (NIV)
Postpartum Support International: 1-800-944-4773
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255
Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741
My Beloved 
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